Taking the Shot: My Fuck Yeses and Fuck Nos for This Year

Why I’m choosing action over perfection this year.

My good friend Carlo Mahfouz recently shared a Substack article called “Fuck Yes or Fuck No” on Good Girl Deprogramming. I read it—and it genuinely stopped me in my tracks.

Not because it was provocative.
But because it was clarifying.

It made me realize something important about myself:

I don’t need New Year’s resolutions.
They quietly make me feel like a failure.

Resolutions turn desire into pressure.
Vision into obligation.
And progress into perfectionism.

I end up stuck—endlessly refining ideas in my head, waiting for the right moment, the right version, the right confidence.

So instead of resolutions, I’m choosing something else this year—inspired by her words, but grounded in my own lived truth:

Fuck yeses and fuck nos.

Because clarity creates movement.
And progress matters more than perfection ever will.

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Fuck Yes

Fuck yes to taking the first step—even when it scares me.
Especially when it scares me.

I’m done waiting until ideas feel fully formed, polished, or bulletproof.
Perfection has been my favorite hiding place.
I’ve called it “preparation,” but it was really fear.

Fear of failing.
Fear of being vulnerable.
Fear of being seen trying—and not succeeding.

This year, if something pulls at me, excites me, or won’t leave me alone, I’m taking the step.

Movement over mastery.
Action over overthinking.

Fuck yes to listening to my body—because it doesn’t lie.
Yoga tells me the truth.

It shows me what nourishes me.
What drains me.
What brings me back into my body, my creativity, my desire, my aliveness.

I’m listening again.

Fuck yes to living on purpose, not by expectation.
I don’t want a life that looks good.
I want one that feels right.

I’m being intentional—and relentless—about protecting my energy, honoring my desires, and building what I actually want, not what’s expected of me.

Fuck yes to trusting myself more than external approval.
My instinct.
My inner authority.
My knowing.

I’m done outsourcing my truth for validation or likability.
I trust myself more than the room.

Fuck yes to regulating my nervous system and prioritizing my health.
Peace over pressure.
Health over hustle.
Presence over performance.

I want my vibrancy back.
My confidence.
My sensuality.
I want to feel alive—and at home in my body again.

That’s not indulgence.
That’s self-respect.

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Fuck No

Fuck no to perfectionism.
It’s not discipline.
It’s fear wearing a nicer outfit.

Perfection keeps me stalled, overthinking ideas that never meet the world.
It convinces me I’m not ready—when readiness was never the requirement.

Fuck no to fear of failure running my life.
Especially the fear of being seen failing.

I grew up in an environment where achievement was rewarded — good grades, success, visible wins.
Failure wasn’t encouraged, and often felt shameful.

That conditioning taught me to hesitate.
To wait until I was sure.
To only move when success felt likely.

I’m unlearning that now.

Trying and learning beats hiding and wondering every time.

Fuck no to empathy at my own expense.
I’ve noticed a pattern in myself — being too understanding, too generous with excuses, too willing to justify behavior that doesn’t actually feel okay.

I call it empathy.
Patience.
Seeing the bigger picture.

But when compassion requires me to shrink, over-function, or explain away treatment that diminishes me, it stops being compassion.

It becomes self-betrayal.

I can understand someone’s circumstances without accepting behavior that costs me my dignity.
I can be kind and clear.
I can hold compassion without lowering my standards.

Fuck no to isolating myself when I’m not okay.
I’ve learned to tell myself that being honest about not being okay makes me look weak.
So instead of reaching out — even for a listening ear — I retreat.
I distance myself.
I carry it alone.

I confuse strength with silence.
And positivity with pretending.

But isolating myself doesn’t make me stronger — it just makes things heavier.

I’m learning that I can be honest about not being okay without becoming negative.
That I can ask for support without collapsing.
That connection is not a failure of resilience — it’s part of it.

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The author, Michelle Minnikin, invited her readers to reflect on two questions:

• What is a clear fuck yes for you right now?
• What would change if you stopped negotiating yourself to keep the peace?

My clearest fuck yes right now is simple—and not easy:

Taking the shot.

For me, that means choosing action over perfection.
Starting before I feel ready.
Letting myself be seen trying, instead of staying safe in my head.

This year, Taking the Shot is my anchor—the theme I’m coming back to whenever I feel myself stalling, overthinking, or waiting for certainty.

If I stop negotiating myself to keep the peace…

I become authentically happier.

Not performatively fine.
Not externally successful but internally exhausted.

Actually happy.
Grounded.
Aligned.

Before I end this, I want to return to the questions Michelle posed — the ones that ask us to look honestly at what we’re choosing, and what we’re negotiating away.

Then write your own Fuck Yes / Fuck No list.

Put it on your mirror—where you see it while washing your face.
Put it on your computer screen—where you glance when you get stuck.
Put it anywhere you need a reminder of what you’re choosing.

And if it helps, give your year a theme. One word. One anchor.

In the spirit of that theme, this is my first Substack article.

Putting my thoughts out here—publicly, imperfectly—takes more vulnerability than I expected. I don’t have a following. I don’t have a strategy. I’m not trying to build an audience.

I just wanted to put my thoughts into the world—and let them exist.

That, for me, is taking the shot.

And this year, I’m choosing courage over comfort.

xoxo💋
Paola